I keep watching so many friends whose paths converge with ones they claim to love, only to see these paths diverge again after so short amount of time.
It’s become something of a fascination to me, that so many people can claim to love love, and love the ones they love, only to about-face in such a short amount of time and become an advocate for the death of romance and chivalry, because their unsteady, rocky relationships went to hell in something as meager as a handbasket.
Marriage, LTR’s (Long-Term Relationships), dating, and even friends., the case is always the same. Everybody falls far and away from each other, but with some, it just takes longer.
I firmly believe that everyone grows apart, that paths diverge, no matter who you are or what little tricks you try to keep yourselves together. The only trick I’ve found is to find someone who you are reasonably assured that your paths won’t diverge from them in your possible lifetime. In other words, the only divergence you’re most likely to have is that one great equalizer: death.
Because, let’s face it, it’s going to happen.
But why marry someone out of convenience or excitation, when you’re not reasonably sure that it’s going to last forever? Is it just that most people are so pie-in-the-sky that they believe it will last forever? Has our immediate gratification society become so prevalent that all people can do is simply give into the temptation to twine together before they truly know what to expect? Or is it that most people simply aren’t very self-aware, and they don’t know how they’ll operate in a relationship?
It’s particularly frightening to me, as I’ve never really had a long-term relationship. It seems to me that if you can’t forsee yourself with someone for a long time, that if the relationship simply isn’t going to work, and in fact is probably going to be more difficult on the both of you if you try to hold it together, then why hold it together? Simple, non-exclusive dating aside (which really is just for the purpose of enjoying oneself in the company of another), why keep the relationship together with duct-tape and bailing wire when it’s simply easier to let it naturally break?
But, if you’re strapping on rolls upon rolls of duct-tape, and buying up bailing wire in bulk, why even get married? Simply let the break occur, and move on to the next. Seems easier on both hearts to me in the long-run.
We all fall down, that’s a given, and many of our relationships will burn to ashes despite our best efforts to put out the fires and seal the cracks. Most people, I truly believe, however, can find that one person they can temper a relationship enough that it will outlast the test of time. And I also think, if you have just a modicum of self-awareness, you’ll know if you’re in it.
So, why on earth do people keep going down for the count when it counts?
Comment on this post below
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.