You too can have a birthday filled with mediocrity and stress, all you have to do is follow this easy recipe.
As they say in the biz, dee-licious and nuu-tritious.
Prepare one hump-day birthday style crock-pot and coat fully with lack of sleep, bizarre dreams, and several day-old weird happenstances.
Drop in 5 projects, 2 meetings, and 1 cup of assorted phone calls and emails into bowl.
Cover with exam that you’re not prepared for.
Gently fold in 2 gallons of drama of which you’re the source, but also which you have absolutely no control over.
Sprinkle in two rolls of Tums that don’t seem to be holding back the tide of stomach acid.
Simmer standard three-pack of bad news several days before folding into mixture. Allow mixture to stagnate during the entire day. Add to mixture when ready.
Mix slowly in a mental mulling fashion over a period of several hours.
Stew for 24 hours at lukewarm intensity during ongoing mental fog.
Baste with one celebratory beer and a free birthday sundae. Add extra Tums to taste.
Feeds one in annoying seclusion.
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