With a new school year, comes new targets for my usual rigamarole. Remember, don’t pity them, that only spurs them along. As always, my comments are in (italics.)
casualheda (Uhhh, come again?)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: schoolAbout Me:
hi im ashley daniels and ik 18 and looking for a guy between 18-19 im black thank for your time please (Okay, your guess is as good as mine.) im very sweet smart gental understanding casual athletic sexy young but still can take care of my self im a goody goody i believe in love at first site i can spark a great conversation im not an all about me kind of person im listen im ajournalist (Wow. No really, professional lobotomy test-subject right?)You Are Looking For:
sex,mysterious,can click with me,playful,gental,re aponsible,loving,a listener,loves,music , we can connect (Vague reference to the sex part, or uncreative plea for emotional fulfillment? You decide…)My idea of the perfect first date:
a dinner with just us ,lovely music, wine,a swim maby drive and park the car and talk for a while , you take me home and give me a good night kiss .no brushing up on me maby even a move , (Uhhhh, yeah, very poetical. Or something.) or the basket ball game
i want a dream husband (Okay, take about 50 tabs of LSD and then see what you dream.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 30About Me:
im joan i model (Raise your hand if you didn’t see that one coming.) im caring , loving and kind ,now i need a husband , so we will have happy home , together forever (Thanks for furthering the stereotype that models are dinks.)About My dream mate:
i need a man who is caring ,loving and kind like myself. so we have happy home together for good
i must be crazy (Remember, the first step in solving any problem…)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age:About Me:
i am s single mom with child……i have two cats. …and a dog…..so you must like animals ….i do not play games nor do i need any one that i have to care for ……….i am wanting honest and trust …but most of all my best friend…….. i enjoy just hanging out around the house pr going out ……….i am very open minded and have a big heart ……..i am not looking for a man to support me i am looking for my best friend (10 yard penalty for overuse of elipses, replay the down.)About My dream mate:
easy going , honest with a job. not in to games or drugs .must like kids and animals …….u must be able ro carry on a conversation (AH-HAHAHAHAHA! Next.)
WANTED: TATTED AND PIERCED (WANTED: POSER DRAMA WHORE.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 26About Me:
26 y/o single mother i love dirt track races heavy metal music iam spontaneous and like adventure on the same note i love to sit in front of a good movieAbout My dream mate:
I.S.O ummmmmmm……. (It’s a bad sign when you can see the mental gears grinding in print.) well surprise my fuzzy lil mind someone who is honest No games i have a 6y/o son who gives me enuff of those someone that will go out and get dirty and come home and snuggle
I want to someone to sweep me off my feet
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 28About Me:
Thank you for reading my profile!! (You wouldn’t be thanking me if you knew why I was reading it.) I am an outgoing and spontanious woman, who loves to socialize and I also just like quiet evening at home with the one I love (just havent found the “RIGHT” one yet). I take pride in my appearance, I cant pass a mirror without primping (just a warning, if that bothers you) (Oh, no, not at all. As a matter of fact, I’m just helplessly enamored with self-absorbed attention whores who can’t get enough of themselves.) I love to laugh! I love to dance. I believe that the perfect man for me would be my best friend, my greastest lover, and my companion.About My dream mate:
I want someone who will treat me like a princess.
There is nothing sexier than a man who has confidence,
I am very comfortable with my sexuality, and expect the man I am with not to be intimidated by that. (Translation: Expect me to go butch in about 5 years.)
I want someone who can make me laugh!!
Someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. (If you’re going for a limmerick, you might want to fix your rhyming scheme.)
the best wishes (I wish… I wish… I wish that Social Darwinism worked.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 26About Me:
i love and care ,nive and caring ,lovely ..i love human being forthey are and not what they hv ok (No. No, it’s not “ok.”)About My dream mate:
the qualitiesofwoman is good habbit and nice caring man tobe mine . who to call me wife. (Who to say you in the English of the bad?)
Whatever happens (…scares the shit out of me.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 28About Me:
Ok guys. I’m back. (AHHHH! RUN!) So feel free to write me. I don’t bite. Well not hard anyways. lol. J/K. (The 1960’s called, they want their overused pick-up lines back.) I am very outgoing. I like to take things as they come. One day at a time. I am a very dedicated mother of two young children. Who are the loves of my life.About My dream mate:
Ok everyone that is wanting to get to know me because of my picture. Read everything on here before you write or instant message me. Someone who enjoys conversation. Someone who knows what they want and are not afraid to go after it. They must also like kids. Must be 29 or older. I prefer Caucasian. And if you are truly interested in getting to know me. (She writes like Shatner speaks.) You will need to IM me or write me first. I haven’t had the chance to become a member yet. So, if you’re interested let me know.
i want some lovings (Here’s to hoping you don’t get any, or at least if you do, you use birth control.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 27About Me:
i am a girl with long legs smart funny and care bout every body no matter who you are i go by whats i the in side not out i play basketball go hiking fishing swimming and camping and hang out with my friends and family
i also have a three year old son (Shit, too late. Alright, who votes for chemical castration?)About My dream mate:
i am looking for a smart honest man that will love me for who i am and love kids and have the same intrest as me and will be there for me when i need them (Sigh. NO AND THEN!)
What would Perfect Relation be Like? (Any without you in it? Cheap shot, I know, but you made it too easy.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 21About Me:
Am a Humble, respectful, loving, caring, and Natural Person. (As opposed to those people grown in cloning vats.) I Like Adventures. I love Art and paintings.About My dream mate:
May be of the same Character (Here’s my Dungeons and Dragons character from when I was 15. Have fun.)
looking for MR.NOT SO WRONG (Great! I’m looking for Miss WILL SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 27About Me:
im a country girl , love gardening , horror movies, country music , pool, love to take care of children , very kind hearted … was married for 8 yrs no kids now back into the dating game , fun fun ..lol (You absolutely can’t know how much “lol” ruins a train of thought.)About My dream mate:
looking for mr. not so wrong .. a good man , kind , sweet , loveing , careing , a man that knows what he wants and doesnt like to play games ….
TROUBLE (Hey, at least she admits it.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 22
Occupation Description: OtherAbout Me:
Don’t Be Scared. (We’re not, we’re well beyond scared.) I am a very blunt and outspoken person, i love to have fun, going to the bars is ok now and then not a habbit of mine. I love to dance usually because i don’t know whats going on . I love a sense of humor. I was raised country, grew up raising cattle and hogs (showed back in the day) I was Rodeo Queen. I love riding horses ecspecially at night (Cowboy Up Yours.)You Are Looking For:
i want someone to listen when i talk, i want someone to like me for who i am not the thought of me, i think that it is important to have one on one time and still have time with your friends,I don’t want someone stuck up my ass 2 (*Snicker* So many things I could say, and yet I can’t choose which one…) I want someone who has the same interests as I do.My idea of the perfect first date:
probably riding horses at dawn until it gets dark just talking to one another figuring each other out. (I think we’ve all already got you figured out.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
I want someone to be my friend but also more. I was always told you will marry your bestfriend, well I don’t have a best friend maybe he’s out there though (I’ll check under a rock.)What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
ou can’t trust what people tell you about themselves you figure it out on your own. Honesty is a big thing to me. (Okay then, I’ll give it a shot: Please don’t breed.)
just the person in me … (Ahhh, a nymphomaniac. Or possibly somebody with Multiple Personalities, I suppose.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19About Me:
just the person in me & how i’m a good person but tha other side you would have to see for your self ! ! ! (Yup, it’s the personalities one.)You Are Looking For:
some one that fun to hang with and out going don’t matter what color taller than me & have a nice body.My idea of the perfect first date:
have to be going good and have fun almost enjoy nothing that is so lame or that is boring that i just want to have another date with that person. i want to have a long walk and talk to get to know thee person . (Just remind yourself, it’s not Shakespeare, that’s just a typo.)What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
to be carful to give my herat too. (Is the herat next to the colon?) And not having all your friends come between you and that your lover.
Former Dorothy looking for Tin Man (”Former”? And what the fsck? Tin Man? You want a heartless guy who blows steam off the top of his head? Okay, I’ll just need another hour to figure out your analogy.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 27
Occupation Description: data entry/ accouts payableAbout Me:
I am orignally for Topeka Kansas hence the headline. (No, I thought you were referring to the Dorothy from the United Arab Emeritz.) I want someone who will treat me with the same respect that I give to them. I guess you could say I am looking for the “perfect” relationship. I know no such thing exist but maybe we can get close. You just need honesty, humor, passion and attraction physically and emotionally. I am easy to please when it comes to having fun we can go out to a quiet dinner and a movie, grab a couple of burgers and play a round of putt-putt or knock a few pins down (The lower-middle-class special!)or rent a movie order a pizza and stay in for the night curled up on the couch with one another. Have I got you interested yet? lol A little bit more about me - I work two jobs one full-time one part-time so I don’t have alot of free time but I will make the time for the right one. I love kids and would like to have a couple of my own running around some day I believe children are one of the greatest gifts from God. I will put it out there now so we don’t waste each other’s time later I have one tattoo on my right ankle (ask and I might tell you what it is) and I do have my tongue pierced. If you are still interested and would like to get to know each other better please let me know. Players and looking for one night stands need not apply. I am looking for something that will lead to a future with my soulmate.You Are Looking For:
I am looking for someone who is funny,caring a little on the romantic side. He has to be open and honest. Looks are important but not as much as his personality. What good are looks if you can’t stand being around the person?My idea of the perfect first date:
The perfect first date would be a quiet dinner so we could talk and get to know each other and then a fun acitivity like bowling, putt-putt or nice walk under the stars where we could continue getting to know one another. (Yes, because when I think “romance”, I think hitting a little plastic ball into the crocodile’s mouth.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
a strong emotional and physical connection. Open and honest you have to be able to communicate and trust one another. someone i can laugh with and have a good time no matter where we are or what we are doing.What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
You will never know everything about the one you are with but you have to be able to talk or things will just build up and before you know it things are over. Honest Communication is key.
STOP-LOOK-AND LISTEN!!!!!!1 (Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the computer, you’ve just broken about 18 Internet Superhighway traffic laws.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age:About Me:
I am a outgoing person with a lot of talent. (I’m guessing not in the field of language.)About My dream mate:
well educated (By public education’s standards.) with a good sence of humore. (Oh, I certainly hope so.) I don’t want a man with lots of different baby mama’s. (I’m going to lose it the next time I hear this phrase.) I want someone who is conferdent in his stability. Someone who is smart and kno how to treat a woman. (If your requirements are “smarter than you”, it won’t be a difficult search.)
The Best Thing Ever!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 20
Occupation Description: I sell Flowers! (In some circles, that’s called a florist, and why that warranted an exclamation mark, I’ll never know.)About Me:
I’m a crazy little energetic thing! I’m a bundle fun! I LOVE LOVE LOVE to listen to music! Music Makes Me Happy! My all time faveorite band is Dave Matthews Band! If you like DMB you automatically score MAJOR points on my scoreboard! I love to laugh and have a good time, and like every other I want to be held once in a while and shown a little attention . don’t pass me by you just might rgret it . lol! (Somebody get this woman a dose of Ritalyn, stat!)You Are Looking For:
I want someone who is just a blast to be around and who is VERY up beat! Life was meant to be enjoyed gosh dar and the one I am looking for will feel the same way! Like I said before I LOVE listening to music and anyone who else who does will understand me .lol! When it comesto looks I like a guy with not a whole lot of muscle .but a little helps! I like guys who like real men. Real, everyday working joes, none of this Abercromie and Fitch model looking stuff . sorry boys but that just doesn’t do it for me. I want a guy who would rather wear his Budweiser t-shirt and his jeansto work than a suit anyday! Some one laid back, and some who enjoys life and doesn’t take it for granted If you fit this . then drop me a line! (Miss? Richard Simmons called, he asked you to stop upstaging him.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
My perception is where you both have an equal respect for eachother, you both enjoy life, and you both celebrate eachothers diffrences! I also think that an ideal relationship has more laughs than cries!
fun (I bow in utter awe of your creativity and command of language)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 22
Occupation Description: Customer ServiceAbout Me:
I’m a country girl, I love big trucks going 4×4, horseback riding, rodeo, dancing. I’m the drinkin beer on the back of the tailgate girl.You Are Looking For:
Gotta be fun have a sense of humor love kids like going out but also like staying in, stable, good morals, not an alchololicMy idea of the perfect first date:
Pick me up in your big truck take me to LoneStar buy me prime rib and a beer and then take me out country dancing. ()My perception of an ideal relationship:
My ideal relationship would be to spend my life with my best friend. A partnership but most importantly a friendship.What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Become friends first because if you don’t have a friendship nothing will last beyond infatuation and lust. Dont be with someone completely different than yourself have common interest and friends.
i’m asian… hehehe (Not Funny-Haha, but Funny-Weird.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18About Me:
i’m a lover not a hater :o) () i’m pretty outgoing and laid back. it must be because i’m lazy… haha. i’m a happy peppy person, (NO! I never would have guessed!) and i’d like to describe myself as a girly manly girl.. does that make sense? (Here’s a twist: No.) lol. i’m not your typical girl. i’m like “one of the guys” but girly… teehee teehee. i love meeting people, and i’m willing to try anything at least twice! so keep that in mind ;o) (I think it’s time to change my profile to indicate that I’m looking for a girl who understands that online dating profiles are not real life conversations, and that including “lol” and “tee-hee” makes you look like an even bigger idiot.)About My dream mate:
preferably 5′9″-6′3″, nice eyes, nice hands, nice hair, nice body, nice personality, hehehe.. someone who can make me smile, laugh, and keep up with me. sounds like a challenge? it is. (Oh, I’m sure it is, just not in the way you’re thinking.)
Serious to find my soulman lead to marriage (Ahhh, the dreaded ESL disease strikes again.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 24About Me:
: I am the quiet and good quality girl. I don’t have any bad habits. I am soft, tender, understanding, loving, compassionate, considerate, loves the life. I am serious when I want to do something. I am kind and respect my parents.About My dream mate:
I hope that he doesn’t have any bad habits. (Does cynicsm and rampant assholishness count?) I hope that he is happy guy with kind heart. I also hope that he is cultivated, good quality, stable income, achievement at work too; I hope he is healthy in mind and body. I prefer someone who loves Chinese culture and women. (ANNNNND THEEEEEENNNNN????)
ashley
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: Non-profit/Volunteer/ActivistAbout Me:
i have one lil girl her name is matayah my name is ashley i love to have fun i just got out of a realy bad relationship and would like to start out on just dating again and playin at times (Join me now in reminiscing back to the days when punctuation was a part of language.)You Are Looking For:
nice cute kind likes to play have fun go out like kidies like to walk and be romantic dosent treat his friends better then his girl will treat me an my child good likes to go stay many places (Eats shoots and leaves.)My idea of the perfect first date:
just to have fun and realy hang out go see a movie go out to eat just go some where fun or just saty in and have funMy perception of an ideal relationship:
to be there for one another not to mess around to have fun but not all the time there is a time to be romantic as well (I think your boat overturned in your stream of conciousness.)What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
when the guy stars hittin on ya to hurt you it is time to go not to stay around some one that treats you like (Thanks for the words of wisdom, Dr. Phil.)
If I told you everything we would have nothing to talk about later. !! !!!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 32
Occupation Description: studentAbout Me:
If I told you everything we would have nothing to talk about later. !! !!! (So, instead, you tell us nothing. That really helps.)You Are Looking For:
I would like to find someone that is loving, not a jealious person, also someone that doesnt take life so serious that they can not have any fun. (Oh, trust me, I’m having a blast at this.) Over all they have to have a good attitude about themself and live.My perception of an ideal relationship:
Some I have things in common with, also some that likes change and not set in the same oh same oh. Just have a good time and be happy.What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
To give the freedom you would like to have for yourself and don’t expect alot of the other.
Well heres me! (Well shit in my mouth and call me a toilet!)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19
Occupation Description: NURSE! (GAH! What?)About Me:
Im very outgoing, Friendly , bubbley person! (Just frothing over with intelligence, we can tell.) I can talk to anyone anywhere . I like to make everyone feel apart of the “group”. What id like from this . hm . Friends, maybe more . depends anywho . If your intrested in me id love to here from you!You Are Looking For:
Someone whos understanding, loving,caring,good looking, treats me good, honesty, goal bound, likes to be around friends family .ect .My idea of the perfect first date:
Just enjoying the company of the person im with . being able to get throgh the first date! haha But seriously dinner, a walk something to where we can just have down time! (Get down, get funky.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
TRUST !! Understanding, LOVE , CARE, .When i can talk about anything i want i front of you and you as we . BE OUR SELVES (nO, yOu HaVe To TyPe LiKe ThIs BeFoRe wE cAn TrUlY ReSpEcT yOuR cApItAlIzAtIoN aBiLiTiEs.)What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Dont rush into it ! Trust until you have a reason not to. Because if not youll never know . Everyone needs there space and there own friends!
HOT TIE (I… I don’t even know where to begin…)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 21
Occupation Description: Hair Stylist (Notice that it didn’t say “Rocket Scientist” or “Genetic Engineer”?)About Me:
I am a hair stylist at a very up beat salon! I am very fun and im lovin life!I have a beautiful daughter that is my world. I like to meet new people and hang out and have a good time!You Are Looking For:
someone who shares the same interests as me and likes to try new things. I want a sweet guy who loves to hang out with family and act silly. but also likes to party and hang out with his women! LOL (The Swinger’s special!)My idea of the perfect first date:
Just hang out and talk about whatever comes to mind kind of get a vibe for the person ya know? Then whatever happens from there (That’s all the innuendo we have room for right now.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
having someone you can count on no matter what someone who understands how you feel in diffucult situations and that would always stand behind you. A CUDDLY guy! (Translation: Loves the fatties.)What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
to always respect my partner. to get respect you have to give respect. and trust does build a relationship no matter what anyone says.
Need a teddybear!!!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: fast foodAbout Me:
, read to find out! Hi sweeties! How are all my babies today? which one of you guys will I take home and love forever with all my heart? (I’ll hold you, and Squeeze you, and LOVE YOU FOREVER!)You Are Looking For:
Would be nice If ur living in Oklahoma. I can make you happy in bed if you love me in return !! (At least she understands the male-female exchange rate.)My idea of the perfect first date:
simplicity okay? Go out to eat, get to know each other. The lake under the stars/making out. Movies/making out. I love scary movies! (Uhhh, and making out? Just a guess.)My perception of an ideal relationship:
trust, talking about everything. No secrets. Lots of cuddling and affection. TRUE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIPWhat I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Don’t base all of my hopes and dreams on one person. Hold back at first. Don’t get to attached. Chances are, they will leave me. (Ahhh, an optimist.)
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