With so many friendships coming nearer and nearer to an untimely end, to be seperated by this unforgivable demon of distance, I have been forced to ask myself several questions about love and relationships.
Why does the only one I can actually see myself with have to be half a world away?
“My love is like first steps in this snow, baby,
I follow you everywhere you go, baby.
The pain as light has come to wake you
But you will never realize
That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby.”
In this town I’m slowly losing my grip on those that I’ve gone to when there was simply nowhere to run and hide. By its very nature, this place is only temporary for most, and those that live here until death seem to have a quiet exasperation that permeates their auras, a still slowness and exhaustion, as though if you stay here long enough, this place steals your very essence.
Now, I want to leave more than ever. To find out what I myself can be, and what her and I can be together.
“I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling,
My love might be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby…”
In the car tonight with no clear destination in mind and a deadly-dark blood moon rising, and I found myself wandering West, towards her. Of course, I was just driving to think and have my time on some barren stretch of stone-cold concrete, but I realized I had closed the distance between us by a few miles. Did I have the guts to keep going, and bring us together for the first time?
Of course not. There’s too many responsibilities here keeping me tied to this town, like one of those inane paddle balls that tries so desperately to seperate itself from its neverending tormenter, that unapologetic wooden cudgel. Ever strike sends it closer to the stratosphere, moments away from blissful freedom, only to be snapped back to more bludgeoning punishment like a petulent schoolchild waiting for the next strike to land.
“You’re half a world away,
but in my mind I whisper every word you say.”
And so, once again, I”m forced to bide my time. When the golden knock of opportunity presents itself, I’ll take it, but I’m pessimistically expecting it will be some time before that call comes.
We’ve been told so often that the world is a smaller place now that the Internet and long-distance telecommunications provides us with instant communication to every corner of civilization, and yet, to me, it only heightens the awareness of the distance that seperates us. The real distance is measured in airline miles, the rising price of gas, hotel costs, vacation leave from work, and the little minutae that makes it nigh impossible to break the string and reach escape velocity, into the stratosphere, to finally be with the ones we love.
“And before you sleep at night,
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.”
Lyrics from Satellite by Oceanlab
Comment on this post below
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.