Time to start off the new year with a rousing bout with mind-deteriorating stupidity. As always, my comments are in italics.
[QUOTE]
GOOD
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: VETANARIAN (Oh, like a joke here would require any effort.)
About Me:
I AM A CHEERLEADER (Now THERE’S a surprise.)I HAVE BLOND HAIR (I think we saw that one coming, too.) AND BLUE EYES I LOVE BOYS I AM NICE I HAVE A JOB I HAVE TWO SISTERS AND 1 BROTHER I LIKE TO TELL JOKES I LOVE TO SHOP WITH FRIENDS I GO TO THE MOVIES EVERY FRIDAY
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
i want to find u
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 30
Occupation Description: model (Oh, I’m so sure. I’m thinking probably “hand” model.)
About Me:
I want to find you! (For the love of all the good left in the world, I sure as hell hope you don’t.) I want you to find me! Give all your energy to me! I am so worth it! (In the learning experience kind of way.) I am very wild, romantic, beautiful, sexy and want to have s ooo much fun! (Oh please, add more o’s there, it will definitely get your point across. While you’re at it, use more exclamation marks, because I can’t tell just how hopped up on crack you are yet.) Please find me and give me what I need. (What you need? An intelligence enema?) I will give you whatever you wnat!
You are looking for:
I want to you be yourself. I need somebody I can trust. I just do not want to get hurt. So if you can handle me and if you are honest, you are the one.
My idea of the perfect first date:
If we could just get to know each other on the Inter and then meet somewhere in my hometown. (Dumbassville, USA) I am very careful, but really romantic.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Do not be sure 100 per cent. It is always a risk there. BUt do not give up hope because there are still good men out there. I believ them guys. (I… huh?)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
hey!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 20
Occupation Description: modeling in ney york .get paid $3,000.00 3 times a week. (I believe this firmly falls under the “Too good to be true” cateogry.)
About Me:
I am a model and am a tall,sexy blonde.I am not lazy at all and I never give up.I do expect fair rights and expect the man to be respectful ogf my parents! (Oops, she channeled a caveman there for a minute.)
You are looking for:
He has to like to go skiing and do outdoor stuff such wimming,(I am afraid of big bodies of water,but i love to be scared)and hiking,camping,and other great stuff!Oh,and sky diving! (Oh! and nearly suicidal activities! For the sake of the rest of civilization, here’s to hoping for a parachute “malfunction”)
My idea of the perfect first date:
A date at the beach underneath the moon or sunset while drinking wine and making out watching the stars aroung a fire. (Oh, baby, oh, baby, oh… MY HAIR’S ON FIRE!)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Going out to a fancy resturant every once in a while.well,i guess also going out to the movies or just anywhere as long as i was with my babe.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Dont trust anybody you dont know personally.Always get to know everyone befor you go anywhere alone with them!You can still get kidnapped you know! (The danger of being kidnapped usually require that you be desirable in some way first.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
looki FRIEND
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19
Occupation Description: vetarinarian (Here we go again! And I don’t eat meat…)
About Me:
i like to talk alot (Okay, so… why the hell don’t you so we can figure out just who the hell you are?)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
Rocker
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: student
About Me:
hey this is the millster lol im kidding my name is millie and i am a simple girl looking for a guy that can rock my rocker world lol yeah and wont cheat in me. Im down to earth and love to hang out with my friends. My friend made me put this up so i could find out that im not a bad lookin girl .yeah. (Your stream of conciousness just dried up.)
You are looking for:
he has to good looking and sweet and loves to hang out with friends. Nice if ripped but ya know lol. Cant, CANT, N-T cheat. (Swingers welcome.) Needs a sense of humor and not stuck up.
My idea of the perfect first date:
go out to eat then go to a movie then go to park and talk or walk around and talk. We could go to river and walk around on the bank. Or we could go to the pool hall and have fun playing darts or pool or something.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
no cheating and dont fight a lot. Equals and enjoy eack others company and not get bored with each other. (Trying to figure out just what the hell you’re talking about would never get boring.)
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
A lot of guys cheat and a lot of them when they get drunk they really dont mean what they say. And there are some psychos out there.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
hey baby!!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: im a student!! in high school (If I’m lucky, I’ll graduate! Tee-Hee!)
About Me:
hey im laci .im shy and outgoing. (Those with Multiple Personality Disorder, please apply multiple times.) you can me at . when it comes to guys im really shy! couldnt tell you why because im a dork sometimes i guess! (Sometimes? Be honest…) but once you get to know me then im not shy at all! and no those arent contacts .my eye color is really that blue .(dont they get you everytime guys)!!!
You are looking for:
im looking for a guy that is outgoing, a risk taker, intelligent, hot, sexy, has a sense of humor but then knows when to be serious, a romantic, honest, loyal, flirt, knows what he wants, and how to treat a girl! .not looking for one things(sex)!!
My idea of the perfect first date:
hm .ona first date the guy arrives at my house with a rose to pick me up. we go out to eat then go watch a movie or go bowling,then end up on a carrige ride (always wanted to), then end up at a beach laying under the stars. aww isnt that cute! haha . im a dork (No, really, you don’t have to keep reminding us, we’ve already figured it out.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
wheres the good men (Ahem. Avoiding you. Yes, it’s a conspiracy.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 25
Occupation Description: customized rehab rep (Here’s to you getting some rehab.)
About Me:
FOOTBALL MY CHILD AND ENJOYIN LIFE MAKING THE BEST OF IT AND BEING SPONTANIOUS, GOIN WITH THE FLOW BUT TAKIN CARE OF PRIORITIES. (SPOUTING CLICHES, TURNING STUPID PHRASES, DESROYING THE REMNANTS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.)
You are looking for:
A REAL MAN THAT IS SELF CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO TAKE ON AND CARE OF A SUR FOOTED WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS A MAN THAT IS GIVING OF HIMSELF AND READY TO HAVE FUN
My idea of the perfect first date:
THAT I DONT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. LAID BACK DINNER AND A LIVE BAND. WILLING TO KEEP CONVERSATION GOING AND SOMEONE TO KEEP UP WITH ME.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
THAT COMES ON A GET TO KNOW BASIS .CAUSE COMPROMISE COMES FROM BOTH PARTIES AND WOMEN NEED THE WHOLE PACKAGE. READY FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
THAT MEN ARE SELF CENTERED AND COMPROMISE IS HARD TO FIND IN A MAN, AND COME TO FIND THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARNT 50/50 .OH AND TO WATCH YOUR BACK.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
IM JUST NAKIYA!
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19
Occupation Description: DENTAL ASSISTING
About Me:
I AM A VERY NICE AND COOL PERSON. I AM SINGLE AND JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDS.IVE BEEN IN LAWTON FOR ABOUT SIX YEARS NOW AND I GRADUATED FROM LAWTON HIGH AND NOW IM GOING TO SCHOOL FOR DENTAL ASSISTING.I LOVE FOOTBALL AND I LOVE TO GO BOWLING AND JUST HAVING FUN! IM A LADY IN THE STREETS AND A FREAK IN THA SHEETS YA HEARD! (Yes, I did, and by god, I wish I hadn’t.)
You are looking for:
I AM JUST LOOKING FOR A MAN WHO WILL BE A MAN! I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL LIKE ME FOR ME! HE HAS TO BE AT LEAST SIX FEET TALL AND SKINNY TO MUSCULAR BUILD, I LIKE RACES BUT I HAVE NEVER DATED A WHITE MAN BUT I WOULD LOVE TOOH AND ALSO THEY HAVE TO LIKE BIG GIRLS NOT THREE AND FOUR HUNDRED POUNDERS! ! SO IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU HEAR THAN HOLLA AT ME! (How about I “HOLLA” at you with this blunt instrument?)
My idea of the perfect first date:
WOULD BE LIKE A DINNER AND A MOVIE OR GOING BOWLING. I WOULD WANT MY MAN TO JUST CHILL RELAX AND JUST HAVE FUN. I DO LIKE TO SMOKE WEED AND DRINK SO WE CAN DO THAT ALSO ON A FIRST DATE! (Well that explains a hell of a lot.) I AM NOT VERY HIGH MAINTANANCE BUT I DO LIKE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
IS FOR US TO BE HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER. TO BE LOVERS AND FRIENDS AND TO HAVE TRUST AND HONESTY IN THE RELATIONSHIP. BASICALLY I JUST WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE FUN AND OUTGOING BUT ALSO SERIOUS WHEN ITS TIME TO BE SERIOUS.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
IS THAT MEN ARE DOGS BUT I LOVE DICK TOO MUCH TO BECOME A DIKE! (*Shudders*. Please. Just stop. Now.) SORRY FEMALES! I KNOW THAT NOT ALL MEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF THEM AND GOOD MEN ARE HARD TO FIND!
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
want to know american
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 25
Occupation Description: study here
About Me:
I come from taiwan. I just been USA for half year, (And it shows.) and i want to make more friends. I want to know about american. I’m just a nice girl looking for a nice guy to date. E-mail me with a description of yourself and a picture and I’ll respond with more about myself.
You are looking for:
We ate in a romantic restaurant. After finished dinner, we went to the beach ,walked on the beach and saw sparkling stars. (As opposed to dull, dirty stars?)
My idea of the perfect first date:
Going to see funny show. (I think your profile counts.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
Just having fun
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 22
Occupation Description: Management
About Me:
I am an individual, and I am very eclectic. I love surprises, hard core concerts, and what every other girl loves; Diamonds. I smoke lots ‘o bud, and if you don’t sm ot the girl you want. (Were you smoking weed while writing this?)
You are looking for:
I really like blondes, but your hair color doesn’t tell me your personality. I want someone who is spontaneous,caring, and above all, have a great sense of humor, and like livin’ on the edge. (I believe reading your profile qualifies as living on the edge. Dating you, however, would be diving off the deep end.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
Nothing special. Just a long night to get to know each other. People aren’t always what they seem. I also like a guy who smokes the green. I can’t handle sober people. (And we can’t handle you.)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Someone who is my complete opposite. It’s much easier for me to get know someone who isn’t like me. You have to like the band Shinedown, and LOVE going to concerts.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Guys never wanted to date me because they thought I would kick , (I’ll make sure to wear a cup.) or they would use the lame excuse, “We’re just too good of friends.” I come from a small town, and guys with small minds. Where I’m from, you have to weigh like 100 pounds, and I personally think that es like that have less character, and less cushion for the pushin’. (*Groan*. This saying really just needs to die soon.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
My (My… What? Spoon? Dog? Shoe? WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU PEOPLE PROOFREAD?!?)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description: I Raise My Girls!
About Me:
I am 18, I have two beautiful baby girls! And if u want to know more u’re going to have to ask okay? Gotta go for now ! Love ya
You are looking for:
I want them to just be there selves No hiding who they really are that’d be great! So if u think u fit that profile then give me a holler okay! Other then that u’ll have to talk to me to find out what I want in my man!
My idea of the perfect first date:
I don’t really know haven’t had many so .I’ll just say this I like romantic settings, I don’t really care what happens as long as it’s not too loud, and that the guy h omething to say or talk about .I hate unusual silences. (And yet I’m guessing your presence incites many of them.)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
I have no Idea what to I think is an ideal relationship anymore. I used to know but not anymore I’ll tell u more (I really don’t know where to start with that.)
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Don’t really want to get into past relationship my last relationship was almost 3 years and it was just recently broke up but it was long overdue. We fought all the time so I should’ve ended it a long time b4 my second child was born.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
hippo (Oh yeah, that headline will get you laid in a heartbeat.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19
Occupation Description: makes food (eats food. blows up like blimp. rids world of the disease that is my self. the end.)
About Me:
That I look like good and I get what I want i really dont have any thing to say but ne 1 likes my type holla back
You are looking for:
hot nice body like me 4 me and does not cheat is faithfull takes charge an doutgoing what ever he wants to do he well do (Take a deep breath and put some goddamn punctuation in there somewhere.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
very romantic does not have to open doors 4 me just being his self does not get embarrased esaly gives me alot of atention
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
Single & lonesome
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 28
Occupation Description: Take care of children (I think I’ve discovered the vicious circle that keeps destroying all future generations as they start growing up: Dumbass caretakers)
About Me:
I am sweet & caring i like watching movies & go out and spend time together. I also like to be treated like they would like to be treated (They who? The voices in your head?)
You are looking for:
Must have a steady job and can drive and love me and treat me like they would be treated and not cheat on me. Must be caring and sweet
My idea of the perfect first date:
Dinner for two at my or his place watch movies with candles and flowers. or a dinner for two at a restraunt and then heas to house for some L&R (Lager and Redmeat? Leiderhosen and Regular Unleaded? No, wait, give me a minute…)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Being able to communicate and share life together and being honest and truthful toeach other. Not cheat on each other
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Life is not like a box of chocolates and love is not easy never know whats going to happen until it happens to u (Thank you for that brilliant philosophical insight, Socrates.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
babygirl
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
About Me:
that im down to erath (And where the hell is that? Right next to Euthenasia? Great, now the aliens are starting to peruse online dating as well.)
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
let chat
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 28
Occupation Description: personal
About Me:
I am a very nice person kinda shy,sweet, and naughty gal but love to talk when I brake out my shell. (I’d make a joke about “brake jobs” and “naughty”, but it’s just not fucking worth it.) I’m 28 years old, pettite woman like a apple. (How the fuck is… nevermind, don’t want to know. I need Aspirin, my brain hurts.)
You are looking for:
someone with the same instest outgoing listen to music loves kids going out loves to listen and talk loves to walk and hang out at home also. (Proof that a monkey at a typewriter cannot create the works of Shakespeare.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
a guy that do old school things like don’t pull up and blow. (What the hell? I can’t tell if that’s innuendo or referring to your bicycle tires.) a guy that pull my chair out open the door and all of that.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
some one that you can get along well with good conversation with, someone that make you laugh a person that would do what he could to make you happy.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
not to take aperson for granted love and keep that person happy listen to that person be a friend to him.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
SueEllen
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 30
Occupation Description: I love to go the the lake i love water sports (Here’s a dictionary, so you can go look up the word “occupation”.)
About Me:
I am Very Sweet!! i love to make people happy!! im looking for someone who has ambition in life and who likes to have a good time i love to go out lol i need to find a guy to come with me!! im sick of making excuses for all the phycos (Phycos? Some kind of advanced physics topic?)
You are looking for:
LOL just make me happy and laugh with (Does laughing at you count?) dont be a jerk and if ur a cheater dont talk to me serouisly oh someone to go shopping for and with lol i love southern boys (Which is good, because their average intelligence might make you look like the next Einstein.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
lol I like the Aquairium . but like dinner and a movie or walking along riverside or going to the ZOO! something fun
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Just to be on the same level and trust is the main thing oh i play the guitar and i want someone who likes to hear me play lol oh and someone whos not afriad for a high mantience girl i read alot of peoples profiles and they say they would never date a “high maintienced girl” thats so crappy lol sorry but yah thats all (By “High Maintenance”, you mean “difficult to understand and communicate with”, right?)
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Guys suck!! (That’s a new online dating strategy: If you can’t attract ‘em, insult ‘em.) lol no im playing umm let the little things go and to be more open and understanding to things i dont know i havent learned ne thing really my bf for 3 years went to padre and cheated on me . i guess not let ur bf go on spring break with out u . lol sorry umm dont cheat?
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
MRS RIGHT
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 18
Occupation Description:
About Me:
I am very shy at first, but once you get to talking to me i warm up to you too . I love trucks! i have a really nice truck with wheels (I sure as hell hope so. Does it have a steering wheel, and an engine as well?) but i love cars add other vehicles too. i am very strong for a girl as my parents and friends have told me (Newsflash: They were just being nice.)
You are looking for:
i am lookin for a guy that i can live a lifetime with that loves me for me and not the way i look. Basically looking for MR RIGHT, but if all i can find is a friend that is kool too .
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]
Sweep me off of my feet
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 32
Occupation Description: student pt/ cosmetics ft (Ft? I think you just deflated.)
About Me:
I’m fabulous. No really, I am. And very modest. (Lying bitch.) Down to earth, laid back, (except in the mornings aack!!) dance to the music kind of girl. Recently moved to OK from California. Looking for friends first, then see what happens.
You are looking for:
He’s great. And he likes to do stuff. Just stuff. (Could you be… less specific please?) Day off just take off and explore. He’s also thoughtful and likes to show me that he cares about me, not with material things, just with a kiss, or a hug, just hold my hand. 
Oh, and he’s got a killer smile.
My idea of the perfect first date:
Lots of talking. Maybe dinner, take a stroll. And please at least offer to walk me to my car. Thanks.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
Honesty. If you can’t be completely honest with the one person that you choose to spend so much time with, what’s the point. Communication, willingness to learn from one another and honesty.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
See above. And, I’m trying to not be so selfish, but at the same time I don’t want to be taken for granted. Fine line there. on yim. (Insert random keyboard finger spasm here.)
[/QUOTE]
Comment on this post below
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.