This new online dating service, while not providing much in terms of appropriate matches, has certainly helped in terms of keeping me entertained. Want to know why? Of course you do. Here’s more of the dregs of society…
As always, my comments are in italics.
[QUOTE]Looking for some fun? (Uhh, probably not from you.)
Gender: Female seeking Male
Age: 19
About Me:
im a fun-loving person,very honest. I am very shy but once I get to know someone I’ll talk alot more.I maybe a little young but i love doing lots of things. I like being around kids it reminds me of how much I like being a big kid. when i start opening up hopefully i wont scare you away because I can be pretty goofy at times but if that what you wanna do is have a little goofy fun im your woman!Im just looking for that lady who doesn’t mind my f’eance watching or joining in. (Saywha????? Ewww, is all I have to say to that)
You are looking for:
I am looking for someone who really knows how to treat a woman. Someone that can take are of themselves but not be all into himself. A woman needs attention to and that what I plan on doing to the other person also that doesn’t mind having a guy watch or join in. (Again, I say ewww.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
I dont think there is a perfect date. but i would like it if the person would pay attention to me and not every other female or at least let me think that they have some kind of interest in me.
My perception of an ideal relationship:
fun, honest, having a great time with eachother. Not to smoothering. (Is that a relationship term or a type of soft-serve ice cream?) having a best friend kind of relationship, can talk to eachother about anything but not getting upset about what the other one has to say. Exciting, always keeping eachother on their toes. (Sounds like you’ve got that part covered.) Not possessive, can be jealous but not too jealous. i think its kinda cute when a guys acts jealous.
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
Dont believe everything you hear, just some . You never know what you have until its gone.Most people should know that but if you dont then u should b\c it is very true. If you think that working it out would be to much work for you then your are just being selfish and stop thinking of what you have to do and do what needs to be done. (Thanks for the string of random relationship cliches.)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]yeah (Uhhh, how about no, instead?)
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:21
About Me:
i am really 15 i like 2 go out and have fun party with friends get krunk and do all kinds of outher if u wanna knoe more feel free 2 ask me ok l8ter (Wow. The ‘ewww’ factor is pretty high today. Thanks for playing! Next…)
You are looking for:
i am looking for someone who will like me for who i am and that is sweet and not controlling and outher but u will have 2 ask me that urself ok (I’m actually kind of surprised you can type at all, considering some of these other people in their twenties and thirties ‘conversate’ so well themselves)
My idea of the perfect first date:
the guys should take a woman out to dinner and then go to a movie yeah and u should sit in the drive threw movie in ur car and some yeah (Don’t go any further with that, please.) and be all cuddlie and loveable
My perception of an ideal relationship:
you should be nice to one anouther and have a great relation ship dont fight be loveable to one and outher and if u wanna knoe more ask me ok (Here’s a thought: Fuck no.)
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:i dont like to fight every day the last guy blow jobs (GAHHH! Just fucking stop!) and he treated me like and we always fought he called me a slut (I’m thinking he might have been onto something here) every day brought down my self esteem and made me think im a nobody (I’ve got news for you… he was right on the money)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Girl that loves racing!
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:18
About Me:
Lets see I love racing especially sprint cars! I’m really only 15 and a freshmen in High School. I love to read and just talk about nothing. (GAH! How can you love racing, you can’t even drive?!?)
You are looking for:
He most definately has to like racing or he has to be a racer. He has to like reading and talking about stupid and silly things.
My idea of the perfect first date:
I simple dinner and going to a movie. Or going to the races. I don’t really care. Nothings gonna happen after the date. (Ewww, I need to wash my soul now.)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Are ‘You’ the One…
About Me:
Well…hey, I’m a 27 (28 in Dec), yr old single mother of two boys (8 and 2). I’m very quiet (hence the name), and sometimes shy (until I get to know you more). I’m honest and straightforward (blunt when necessary)… (If you feel the need to clarify every statement you make, then just don’t even open your fucking mouth.)
About My Dream Mate:
I’m looking for someone that can make me laugh (not to hard a job), and keep me smiling. Basically, “the man of my dreams”…since this is reality, (At least you can tell the difference between reality and your “Happy Place”) and I doubt that man even exists, I just want someone I can hang out with. A man who is not afraid to express/show his feelings. Someone I can spoil and treat like a King! If this is you…drop me a line.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Wanted: Serious LTR
About Me:
I’m Thick… not fat. (I’m getting visions of Eric Cartman here: ‘I’m not fat, I’m festively plump!) I’m 18. I’m a urban country girl. I love movies, football, cars, trucks, and shopping. I am wanting a Serious Long Term Relationship with someone who doesn’t cheat on me and respects & loves me!! (Then stop going out with cowboys!)
About My Dream Mate:
Buff/Chubby/Stocky/Stout/Plump, (So, uhhhh, fat then. Let’s call a spade a spade) Good Looking, Sweet, Charming, Funny, Preppy/Cowboy, Loving, Caring, Pampers (If you use Depends, please apply)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Sweet, sexy mom looking for a someone to laugh w/! (Not often you meet a self-proclaimed MILF)
About Me:
I love to laugh and have a good time. I am a mother of the most beautiful daughter in the entire world. She is the light and love of my life. Seeking someone to join our journey. (Straight into the mouth of hell…) I’m the hot mom next door type (*Snicker*) who loves hanging on watching football but who also loves to get all dressed up and go out for a night on the town!
About My Dream Mate:
In search of a handsome, tall man, who is honest and trustful. Someone who loves to laugh and be silly.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]hey if you want to taste my candy hit me up (AAAA-HAHAHAHA. Oh, please! Make it stop! My sides!)
About Me:
i love to party and have fun and my favortie season is winter i love the snow , my favorite food is chicken alfrado, i love to swim and play sports (Okay, Einstein, here’s something shiny to distract you with.) i love cars and football my favorite car i would have to say is a mustang or honda civic (The ricer’s special)
About My Dream Mate:
i want my match to be at least intrested inpartying and i hope sports and at least kinda sare my love for cars and respect that other then that i dont i ahve much i wont but for the guy to respect me in every way possible[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]looking for my soul mate
About Me:
I have three beautiful girls and I am employed full time. I also am finishing college. I am looking for the right relationship. I have had the wrong ones and am through. I love bowling and spending time with my family! (Newsflash: You’re going to die single.)
About My Dream Mate:
I am looking for an african american male with children, who is single and wants to out the brady bunch (Coming soon on UPN.) together again! Someone to laugh with, and be happy with. And some one who is a little freaky in the bedroom that wants both of us pleased and not just him! (Just stop. Right there.) And that will love and care about my kids as if they were his and I would do the same![/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]I am the one you have been looking for!!!
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:26
About Me:
Christian Female looking for a SOLD OUT ON FIRE GUY (What the hell? Where you channeling E-Bay there for a minute?) I am 26, Single, No Kids,going to Barber school, Virgin (not that I have never had the opportunity, just chose not to) I am looking for a friend that may eventually end up being my husband. I want a big family!!! I love to sing, play softball, go to movies, camping and alot more
You are looking for:
Must be a christian this is VERY important to me. I guess pretty much what ever girl wants is her knight in shining armor Romantic, caring, good looking, a family guy that will come hang with me and my family from time to time, One who is willing to settle down and be a husband and a daddy. I would love to be with someone who plays music and/or sings . I dont play but I love to sing!!! (And I’m sure the mold in the shower loves your serenades)
My idea of the perfect first date:
He picks me up with a single rose in hand, we go to a nice resturant for dinner, then go bowling (Yes, because nothing says romantic at heart like a smokey, noisy bowling alley.) or something fun (I’ll try the “or something fun” on that one. Bowling. Ick.) that will show me us both a little of each personality, then maybe end the night with coffee at starbucks (So we can engage in a frenzied bout of mass consumerism and supporting large, shitty corporations hell-bent on destroying the concept of good coffee)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
An ideal relationship would be one that of balance, a give and take kind of deal. Compromise and Communication, Honesty, one in which we can be comfortable laying around just being with each other as well as comfortable out friends or just out with us (You, me, a bottle of wine, and the voices screaming in our heads)
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
I guess I have learned to take things slow, most new things seem good at first but until you know for sure just take your time and enjoy the ride, it may be what your looking for and it may not[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]GHETTO-GIRL
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:27
About Me:
I AM THICC CUTE I HAVE A GOOD PERSONALITY AND WILLIIN’ 2 TRY ANYTHING I AM GOIN COLEDGE 2 TRY 2 LEARN (So, English major, right?) HOW 2 DO HAIR SO I CAN MAKE SOME MONEY AND THEN OPEN MY OWN SHOP AND HAVE IT IN ATL WITH FRIENDS I WANT 2 HAVE 2 KIDZ’ BY THE NAME OF QUATEFA LARESHA LARONE KENYATA GETTO(THE GIRL) AND TARONE LARONE LARHONE BOZETTO(THE BOY) (Do you hate your future children? Or do you just want to see them beaten daily on the playground?) WITH A GOOD MAN NOT NO PLAYER !! I AM 19 I JUST DIDN’T KNOW HOW 2 PUT IT ON THIER AND I DIDN’T TAKE THE TIME 2 SO
You are looking for:
HE HAS 2 BE THOUGHTFUL NICE CAREING THERE 4 ME ROMANTIC HE HAS 2 TREAT ME LIKE A QUEEN THAT I AM HE HAS 2 HAVE ATTITUDE DAT I CAN DEAL WIT HE WAS 2 BE ABLE 2 ARGUE WITH WITH BUT LET ME WIN EVEN IF I’M WRONG HE HAS 2 BE A BLACK LIGHT SKINNED BROTHA LOOKIN’ 4 LOVE AND NOT 2 JUST HAVE SEX (That’s it, no number-key usage for a month for being a dumbass.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
IT HAS 2 BE ROMANTIC AND A CANDLE LIGHT DINNER MY HOUSE AND IT HA A SURPRISE 4 ME THAT I’M NOT EXPECTIN’ THEN WE HAVE 2 FIGHT SO WE CAN HAVE MAKE UP SEX (Make-Up Sex on the First Date? Okay…. weird.)
My perception of an ideal relationship:
IT HA LIKE A LOVIN’ AND DA’ SAME TIME A BROTHA SISTA RELATIONSHIP (The Arkansas special!) BUT KNOW HOW 2 SEPERATE THEM
What I’ve learned from my past relationships:
I HAVE LEARNED DAT’ DON’T GO BACK WITH SOMEBODY WHO HAS CHEATED O TIMES LEARN FROM DA’ FIRST 1 AND DON’T TRUST HIM AND DON’T GET SWET TALKED (I know she’s trying to say “Sweet-Talked”, but sweat-talk just brings some interesting mental images into my head.) INTO ANYTHING U DON’T WANT 2 DO CUZ’ BOYZ’ CAN DO IT BELIEVE ME !!!! (Some big men are on their way to repossess your caps-lock key)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]tammiB
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:21
About Me:
i want them to know i like kids and i like puts and i love to cook alot to and i have a lot of friends that injoys being around me. i like to which movies. and meeting know people i like to do that to i hope you liked everythang i put on here (Not really, because I couldn’t… you know… read it.) [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]STUPID GIRL (Well, at least you’re honest)
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:19
About Me:
but I don’t any new boyfriend we I want to be new boyfriend with hottest boy. I AM SO ALONE LONG LONG LONG TIME! (So, you’ve been alone a long time. Is that what you’re trying to say?) I have sweet glasses and biggest nose! (”I have nostrils you could drive a train into! Wanna date?”)
You are looking for:
I am looking for Hottest boys I like a Hottest boys like a long hair I love it but I need seek to Hottest boys is very cute I want be boyfriend with long Hair Hottest boys and I love move to Hawaii and I like dance like a Hawaii with boys I love movie name is Harry Potter is very cool and I was never deny and they sure my dad is work in navy but I not love with my mom because they my mom only mad at me and my sister amd my brother was cry and my kids was mad at mom and fake dad my fake dad is very ugly my sure dad is very nice at my siser and my brothe and me they my best my friend name is Rachel she want be sure sister with me I say we can get new my sure sister with her now and me and her is in deaf not hear I am sure deaf I am very nice and her is very nice we my Rachel want be new a Hottest Boyfriend and me too I might to meet you later ok I love you Hottest boys (Take a deep breath, pop a Rityalin, and put a period in there somewhere, please.)
My idea of the perfect first date:
Yes I love all music and read and all other I need learn word work and read and news word I love read name is Harry Potter movie too I Love my many monkey only very cute they monkey (First time I’ve heard of a monkey-fetish) are nice Please you need learn sign lagauge but me and her are sure deaf (Her who? Your monkey? Or your invisible friend?)
(Thank you, I’ve submitted your contact information to the Gene Purification Squad)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Woman (I certainly hope so.)
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:20
About Me:
Athletic (Ahhh, a woman of mystery)
You are looking for:
Female seeking tall, blonde male (Okay, you’re not even trying. Why even sign-up?)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]speak (What is this? A dog-trainer?)
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:24
About Me:
I very hadsome. I look book evening. (I… huh?) I very speak (…Speak…what?!? The suspense is killing me!)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Hi guys!
Gender: Female Seeking Male
Age:24
About Me:
Hi Guys I am a 21 yr old pre op transexual (Ahhh yes, where would online dating be without the she-males?) email me if you’d like I like all kinds of things & I like to just hang out & have fun I don’t really go to Bars or clubs I am Totally Not Into gay Men although,I am transgenderd (Yeah, you told us. Thanks.)I just like to hang out with cool people and if something happens from there it Just does I am Open But Not a whore (Nope, not a whore, just a freak.) so Guys have some respect thanks chanell
You are looking for:
I Like white guys who are very Masculine and know what they want I Like Itailian Men who are the same…..Gosh theeses things take up alot of time to write **Smile** i jUST WANT TO MEET SOME ONE nICE (Ahhh. An itchy caps-lock finger) And have a good relationship with a nice funny attractive guy[/QUOTE]
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