And now, D.H. will be parting ways in a couple of months, this time for good.
Or so is the plan, at this juncture. I know she’s said she would do this before, but this time I believe she’ll actually go through with it.
I don’t blame her. This town has very little to offer her, or most people, actually, except for the false perceptions inherent in academia.
So, once again, I’m back to Square One, trying to remember how to take that first damned step. And, in being in such a familiar place, I have once again began stepping cautiously into the frighteningly familiar realms of online dating.
And, in being back in online dating, I’m reminded why I didn’t stick with it long before. Back by popular demand, here is my set of results from scraping the bottom of the barrel of the online dating world:
As before, my comments are in italics.
[QUOTE]Looking for friends maybe a date
About Me
I like pina coladas and getting lost in the rain, I love to laugh and have a good time with whatever I’m doing, and I love sports!!!!
(Sigh. Rupert Homles is spinning in his grave for your use of that damned cliche. Oh, wait… Rupert Holmes isn’t dead? Then his career is spinning in its grave.)
About My dream mate
My match has to have a great sense of humor, has to be taller than me, and will sing to me even if hes horrible. (Speaking of Rupert Holmes and horrible singers)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Hi! Glad to be here. (Oh, I’m not.)
About Me
Well lets see i am a full time mother at this time. I like to go out and to things, but i have to worry about my daughter befor i think about myself. I don’t have many friends i can trust these days so i would like to make some new friends that i can trust not to lie to me or drop me so they can have a good time alone with whom ever it may be.
(Oh, sure, you can implicity trust anybody you meet on the Internet.)
About My dream mate
He has to have a good atitude toward kids, treat me like a women not a easy peice of ass that he can get whenever he wants it (Wait, you’re saying you’re not an easy piece of ass?). It would be nice if you like to do things and go out every so often. (Things? You wouldn’t know “vague” if it jumped up and bit you… somewhere)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]looking for that special critter (*Snicker*)
(Oh, God. This ought to be interesting.)
About Me
I am a very commical person, i like to have fun, i am very out going. just over all i like to have a good time.
About My dream mate
i am lookin for someone that is up to do whatever i am up to doing (And that would be… uhhh, what? Work with me, here.)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]LOOKING FOR A FRIEND FIRST MAYBE MORE
About Me
IM A 24 YEAR OLD MOTHER. I LIVE IN DALLAS WELL GARLAND. (The land of comma-less speech and jammed Caps-Lock keys) I LIKE TO BOWL, GO TO THE MOVIES, CHILL, PLAY POOL, EVEN GO OUT SOMETIME. (Wait a minute, those other things don’t count as “going out”?) I LIKE TO WATCH FOOTBALL, MY FAVORITE TEAM IS THE COWBOYS. I LIKE TO HAVE FUN, SO DONT RESPOND IF YOU ARE A BORING PERSON. (Well, shit. There goes my chances.)
About My dream mate
I WOULD LIKE MY DREAM MATE TO BE HONEST, TRUSTWORTHY, LIKE TO HAVE FUN, NOT ABOUT GAMES AND DONT LIE. THEY NEED TO LIKE KIDS. THEY NEED TO BE TALL AND HAVE SOME LOOKS TO THEM. (What if they’re blind?)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]More than able to please you (Unless you come with beer and bratwurst, I doubt that)
About Me
I provide business men with valuable companionship. We take pride in our work and feel highly about customer satisfaction. (I honestly can’t pick which one of the 9,000 jokes I thought up to put in here)
About My dream mate
Just looking for someone who can appreciate us a s professionals and treat us as such. (Okay, how many of you are there? And how many of those are extra voices in your head?)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Looking for?????
About Me
I am a laid back person who likes to have fun. I do not like fake people. I have a beautiful 4 month old son. I do not have “babydaddy” drama. I am a SINGLE mother. If there is anything you would like to know just ask. I am a very open person. I am into working out. You just have to give me a lil time to get back to my “good” body. I just had a baby. I was 128 before I got pregnant. (I really hope you’re talking about pounds, and not inches)
About My dream mate
My dream man… HUMMMM… (Before you ask, no, that little Hum did not create the illusion of deep thought.) Would like to be Tall Dark & Handsome. (Stand on a chair, turn off the light, and lie) I would like someone that likes to go out every once in awhile, but not all the time. I do NOT have that option. Someone that really likes to sit at home & watch movies. (Attention shoppers, red light special on emotional baggage sets on aisle 4.)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]A Real Female (Good, because we’ve already ran into a few who were confused about their gender.)
About Me
i am a single mother of two, i am originally from Houston and right now i live in Dallas. i own my own Dance Business. (Translation: I now own the strip club I used to work at because I’m now too old to dance) I am real person, (As opposed to being a real Martian) i hate a liar and I love attention.
About My dream mate
someone who is nice, honest has no problem with communication, (Unlike you, who apparently has some form of punctuation epillepsy) and who loves to love. a person who does not create a relationship based on superficial things.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]need a girl? HOLLA (Oh God, if anyone else used the word Holla to me again, I’m going to have to introduce them to my friend, Mr. Louisville Slugger.)
About Me
im very out going.. friendly ..sweet.. understanding.. lady like..have a cute pertionality.. (remarks regarding your spelling aside, what the hell is a cute personality? ‘I have a tall, buxom, long-haired supermodel on the inside?’) well fit..into basketball..music and love to dance..
About My dream mate
sweet, cute, gentleman like, knows what he wants , gots to have either a career or job, smart, romantic and well built stand at least 5′10 (By your writing style, I’m guessing you’re an English teacher at a Vo-Tech?)[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]broken and a lone (Oops, you misspelled the word ‘Loon’)
About Me
i like to hang out. go to clubs. play pool. fish. very outdoorsy. (Yes, because playing pool and going to clubs is so outdoorsy) talk. im very ez going good listener. (I sure as hell hope your speaking skills don’t involve this kind of grammar, or that’s going to be one annoying conversation) great friend.
About My dream mate
i want someone who wont cheat lie or hurt me. someone who will treat me the way i need to be treated. take care of me make sure no harm comes my way.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]LOOKING FOR TRUE LOVE
About Me
I LIKE TO HAVE FUN. I LIKE TO GO TO AMUSEMENT PARKS.LIKE TO WALK.I LOVE WORKING AND SPENDING TIME WITH MY DAUGHTER. (I LIKE PUDDING! I LIKE SHOES! I HAD A LOBOTOMY!)
About My dream mate
I’M LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT WHO LOVES KIDS WHO IS HARD WORKING MAN LOVE TO HAVE FUN WHO WOULD LOVE TO SPEND TIME TO GATHER. SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS ME AND MY DAUGHTER.SOME ONE WHO WON’T PHYSCIALY PUT IS HANDS ON ME. (What, you want to be intimate through telekinesis?)[/QUOTE]
Sigh.
Every time I think I’ve regained some of my faith in humanity, the Internet blows that all to hell.
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