Today, for many reasons, my clarity of sight seems to be higher than usual, which is odd since it’s blindingly bright outside, forcing me to squint and cower, even with my sunglasses on.
But, for some reason, just because I seem to be in some kind of hypersensitivity mode, doesn’t mean that anything’s registering. Oddly enough, my perceptions stop at the point where they are taken in. My mind itself seems to be discarding most outside data, and simply withdrawing.
It’s been a rough week. The threat of four more years of a tyrannical fake-religious homocidal robber barron, now with the illusion of the mandate of the people (which, in the midst of a bitterly divided populace, he doesn’t, at least yet), coupled with relationship changes, far too much on my plate, and a deep vein of insomnia-induced burn-out that I have no explanation for, have left me feeling detached from the world and mentally curled up into the equivalent of the fetal position.
I am, as they say, emotionally exhausted.
Just because it’s yet another day in paradise for someone with a job that pays all his bills, friends and loved ones to spend time with, and a bright, shining, wonderous, and inadequately adjective-laden future, does not mean that this is paradise.
While not to diminish the struggle of others less fortunate, I have to offer an antithesis to their belief that someone like me lives in relative utopia, while their sqallor and suffering is, at best, hell on earth.
This is merely a different kind of hell, one permeated with a zombie-like, exhausted trudge that the soothing monotony of day-to-day coasting eventually spirals down to.
Another day in paradise? Not likely, when that paradise is merely skin-deep.
More later when the caffeine kicks in and my mood improves.
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