If you’ll remember, back in the days of the great American Highway, Route 66, and others, the unceasing story of the Great American Journeyman was prominent. I had the opportunity this last weekend to spin my wheels on the Interstate and reminisce in what used to be a regular trek for middle-class families across the nation.
With no particular destination in mind, families would jump in the station wagon and begin a trek towards ammusingly worthless roadside attractions, thousands of little Meccas spread across the desert of interstate. Thousands of tourist traps, travel stops, rest areas, and world’s largest, tiniest, or most irrelevant attractions.
Disneyland? Bah-pssscch. That’s for them rich folk.
Washington D.C.? Meh. That’s for those in-tuh-llec-tals.
Even the Grand Canyon, one of the greatest natural wonders in our nation is nothing more than, you guessed it… a friggin’ hole in the ground. Don’t get me wrong, it’s pretty, but for all intents and purposes, it is, irrefutably, a lack of dirt where dirt should be.
But the World’s Second Largest Ball of Spit? The Ripley’s style “World of Amazing Things!!!!” (insert deep reverberation here for best effect), and *Gasp* REAL ALIEN AUTOPSY EXHIBIT on the side of some lonely road?
They had a real sense of beauty and awe associated with them. Not because they were special, or because they were beautiful in an artistic way, or because they were truly a sight to behold in their own right, but because of the fact that potential prosperous panhandlers actually spent time and energy to build these with the belief that people would pay money to see such inane and irrelevent examples of human (and occassionally, inhuman) oddities. Like carnival freaks, or just carnies in general, these attractions lent themselves to the best justification for Social Darwinism that human-kind can afford before de-evolving into a slobbering ball of slime.
And pay we did. Why? I have several theories:
1. We wanted to be able to laugh at the other people there who actually thought these were “interesting”.
2. For the more surreal exhibits, we wanted to watch idiots gasp and grow wide-eyed at the frozen “Sasquatch” exhibit, with the belief that it wasn’t just some overdressed bear in a hunk of wax.
3. Pure, unadulterated, and unmatched boredom.
But it’s more than that, at least, I hope for the sake of humanity that it’s more than that.
Simply, the allure of the open road, something that our country uniquely has.
Sometimes, it’s enough to be with your loved ones (despite the fact they’re poking each other and complaining about the fact that someone is on the other’s side and Are we there yet and SHUT UP!), and blowing down Route 66 with the wind in your face through the window of the fake wood panelled station wagon, trying to avoid that half-asleep semi driver.
Uhhmmm, well, never mind.
Enjoy, I always do.
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