Before I start, I would like to remind everyone that so far, nobody has died this month, and compared to last month, life is moving swimmingly.
Accept for the little white water rapids I’ve been in for the last week or so.
So, let’s take stock:
Saturday, I go in to get a new tire for my car, only to discover that the manager who said he was going to be there, wasn’t there. Oh well.
Sunday night, I discover that my checkbook has been stolen and somebody has written a $50 check in my name. Crap.
Tuesday, I completely fail to get any work done, further causing me strife regarding my current homework worries. Ugh.
Wednesday, I come down with conjunctivitis (Pink Eye, for us non-medical types), and have to spend $25 on a miniscule bottle of eyedrops that probably contain nothing more than saline solution (after insurance, of course). Shit.
Yesterday, the motherlode hits.
First off, it’s April 15th. Tax Day. Wonderful. Damn you, Oklahoma Tax Commission, damn you and your blasted use tax.
Secondly, I’ve never been one to consider that I have any kind of cosmic powers, although, if given the choice, I’d love to have them. But sometimes, I truly wonder.
The entry I wrote Friday? Oddly enough, I got contacted by the very girl that I wrote that about, through my “favorite” method of communication, Instant Messenger.
While I was writing my entry on Friday, which, for some odd reason, I just got this “random” inclination to share with the rest of the planet, this girl was lying in a hospital room, giving birth to a son.
And no, before you ask, it’s not mine.
She hadn’t tried to contact me since about August. No Instant Messages, no phone calls, no nothing. And, to be perfectly honest, I was fine with that. And while I wasn’t hearing from her, and whenever I thought about it, I was of two minds (only two? I hear you ask. Hush now. We’ve already discussed Multiple Personality Disorder).
First mind (Optimistic): I haven’t had to deal with her in a while. Maybe things are resolved in her mind and I don’t have to think about it anymore. Maybe she’s moved on, so I don’t have to worry about her contacting me and going back through the old crap again.
Second mind (Pessimistic): We’re due.
Unfortunately, I think I got the wrong point across in my previous post about all this. I’m not angry, and I’m not holding a grudge. However, since the issue isn’t resolved, and since I never know when I’m going to get contacted by her, it’s more difficult, in my own deranged little mind, to set the issue aside.
Anyway, she told me about all this, about her new child, about the father of the child leaving, etc.
What does one say to that? Especially to someone who won’t really let you resolve things in your own mind, let alone with her?
I guess this is primarily rhetorical, as I’m not really looking for an answer. I doubt that it would work, anyway. I’ve discovered that you don’t argue with insane people, as they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
And she has a lot of experience.
So, again, I ask “Where do we go from here?” When it comes to her, my preference would be precisely nowhere, as I don’t really want to have anything to do with her.
If she’s discovered this blog and knows whose writing this is, well, tough cookies. Oddly, I can’t be mean and say the things I want to say to her face, but I can say them when I’m talking to everybody who peruses my site (in other words, nobody). I suppose it’s kind of strange that I don’t have a problem screaming my anger at the top of my lungs to my cat, a few random oxygen molecules floating lacadisically a few inches away, or even an innocent tree, but can’t seem to find the inner strength to say it to her face. It’s part of my empathy, again. Damn double-edged sword.
Until next time.
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